Habit vs. Addiction: What's The Difference?

Habit vs. Addiction: What’s the Difference?

Posted September 26, 2019

Alvernia University

From a mental health point of view, the difference between habit vs. addiction can be as perplexing as it is overwhelming. The line that separates the two can be unclear, and habit-forming and addictive behaviors can overlap in a lot of unexpected ways. Understanding the differences between the two can help us make better decisions and avoid losing control.

What Is a Habit?

A habit can be summed up as a routine or regular behavior that gets harder to give up the longer that behavior goes on. The best examples of habits can be seen in how people start the day. Morning rituals largely consist of a variety of habits, like brushing teeth, taking a shower, making coffee, etc. Over time, the sequence of these behaviors can become consistent for people.

An article in Forbes unpacked the ways people develop positive habits or “rational addictions.” These kinds of healthy habits can only arise, though, when people are more aware of their own behaviors. The article was based in the context of a study that found “as ‘rational addicts,’ people can weigh the costs and benefits of their current behavior taking into consideration its implications for the future, and still choose to engage.” When people know more about how their positive behaviors benefit their lives – and how their negative behaviors do the opposite – they’re much more likely to engage in healthy habits.

At the same time, though, it’s hard to shake habits as we engage with them over and over. Jasmine Bittar of Addiction Center offered tips on how to break bad habits and build new, healthy ones. Centrally, she suggested people exit their comfort zones. Comfort feeds into habits, which is why it’s important for people to try on unfamiliar behaviors to develop healthier, more constructive ones. She recommended four primary goals to develop new habits:

  • Take baby steps to develop new routines.

    • Avoid comfortable or enabling triggers that will tempt you to indulge your habit.

    • Attempt to exchange old behaviors with new, comparable habits.

    • Refrain from self-destructive, self-deprecating thoughts.

In order to understand how habits work, it’s necessary to look at how they affect decision making. Author and New York Times reporter Charles Duhigg, discussed the role of habits within the workplace in an interview with Harvard Business Review. He said, “About 40% to 45% of what we do every day sort of feels like a decision, but it’s actually habit.” This sentiment helps explain the sort of unconscious thought process we go through when making choices. Duhigg went on to say that as habits become more automatic and routine, they become harder to shake later. After people identifying an unhealthy habit, it’s important they “diagnose the cue and the reward.” Then, people can successfully work toward developing new habits.

What Is an Addiction?

Addictions, on the other hand, are much more powerful than habits. In these instances, for the most part, people will make sacrifices to their lives out of an obligation to pursue a substance or practice.

Defining addiction is difficult, but the American Psychiatric Association provides a simple explanation for what brings on certain addictive behaviors. The organization wrote, “People with addiction (severe substance use disorder) have an intense focus on using a certain substance(s), such as alcohol or drugs, to the point that it takes over their life.” As a result, people who are addicted to something experience different modes of thinking and altered brain functions. People who exhibit addictive qualities are sometimes aware of their mental health problem yet continue to engage in risky, problematic behaviors.

Addictions don’t have to be centered on consuming substances, though. Instead, as explored in the International Journal of Preventative Medicine, certain behaviors can be just as addicting. The researchers stated that “behaviorally addicted individuals have certain symptoms and will undergo the same consequences brought about by addiction to alcohol and drugs as well as other obsessive behaviors.”

The National Institute on Drug Abuse looks more thoroughly into the way the brain functions in people who are addicted to something. The organization stated that “surges of dopamine in the reward circuit cause the reinforcement of pleasurable but unhealthy behaviors like taking drugs, leading people to repeat the behavior again and again.” By indulging in the substance or behavior, over time the dopamine that triggers in the brain lessens and lessens. This ultimately reduces the “high” that people get from their addiction, which motivates them to seek out the substance or behavior more and more.

The Significance Between Habit vs. Addiction

Probably the most important distinction between habit vs. addiction is how choice, to an extent, is still possible with habit-forming behaviors. When it comes to addiction, people generally have a harder time making decisions because of their dependence on a substance or behavior. Typically, these factors are linked to the rewards systems in the brain, which helps explain their overarching power in stripping people from the ability to make rational decisions.

The debate between habit vs. addiction has become more intense for mental health experts. Adi Jaffe, Ph.D., of Psychology Today analyzed the ability for people to choose their habits or addictions. Mental health professionals fiercely debate this topic, but he found that both camps are right; habit formation is more choice-based while addictive behaviors can be more neurologically and biologically bound.

“In the end, it comes down to training,” Jaffe said. “If we want to end up with a different set of behaviors, we have to understand the mechanisms and processes that got us there and make a change.” Although this certainly isn’t a definitive end to the debate, it does add a layer of understanding to the difference between addiction vs. habit.

Developmental neuroscientist Marc Lewis, writing for the New York Times, explored how addictions and habits might not be as different as they seem at first. This controversial opinion is comes from the idea that as brain functions change, so do habits. He found that “addiction is brought about by the repeated pursuit of highly attractive goals and corresponding inattention to alternative goals.” This definition frames addictive behaviors as being similar to habit-based ones.

Alternatively, the research Barry J. Everitt, writing for the European Journal of Neuroscience, compared the starker difference between habit vs. addiction. He focused primarily on the treatment side of drug addiction, but he made a point to discuss how habits can lead to acute addictions. He wrote, addiction to drugs is “the endpoint of a series of transitions from initial voluntary, or recreational, drug taking through progressive loss of control over drug use.” In this context, a habit can be seen as the precursor to addiction.

Not all habits will lead to addictive behaviors in the end, but it’s still important to recognize the dependent nature of some substances and practices. It’s not often that people begin with full-blown addictions; instead, addictions develop over the course of time. During the early stages of habit formation, people may still have the power to mold their behaviors and practices.

The Power of Believing In Yourself

The Power of Believing in Yourself

8 insights on the psychology of self-efficacy.

Marianna Pogosyan Ph.D.

Posted July 22, 2022 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods

KEY POINTS

  • Self-efficacy is the confidence we have in our abilities in specific life domains.

  • Finely-grained self-efficacy beliefs are more useful in predicting outcomes than global self-confidence measures.

  • Self-efficacy is a key ingredient of self-regulation and achieving our goals.

Years ago, right before starting on a big new project, I bought a framed note that spelled with golden letters:

She believed she could so she did.

I didn’t know who she was and what she did, but somehow, the words offered encouragement for my own undertaking.

The contract that humans draft with their loftiest dreams is surprisingly straightforward. Yes, we need skills to accomplish our goals. Yes, we need effort, strategy, resources, creativity, character, and even luck. But before we set the world in motion, we need the blessing of an inner ally, who, whether with a coy wink or a full-blown orchestra, makes us believe that we can.

This confidence in our abilities in specific life domains is known as self-efficacy. After studying self-efficacy for decades, psychologist James Maddux concluded that believing that we can accomplish what we want to accomplish is one of the most important ingredients for success. Indeed, countless research studies have shown that having high self-efficacy can help us pursue our goals, cope effectively with stress, engage in health-promoting behaviors, and have better psychological well-being.

Why do our thoughts and convictions have such a consequential hold on us? Is it the courage they impart to dream in the first place? Is it the resolve they extend when we stumble? Or is it because when we believe in ourselves, we can “risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit,” as poet E.E. Cummings writes.

Here are 8 insights from Maddux on the key role self-efficacy plays in our lives.

Self-efficacy can be more adaptive than self-confidence

Traditionally, psychologists have defined and measured self-confidence as a global construct that is consistent over time and across situations. It’s almost like a personality trait that people tend to have to varying degrees. The trouble with thinking of ourselves in global terms, such as having high or low self-confidence, is that it’s very easy to mis-predict outcomes.

Research shows that when it comes to our ability to predict behavior, situation-specific measures (i.e., self-efficacy beliefs) outperform global measures such as self-confidence. Thus, if you are considering setting a new goal, you’ll be better off breaking down your general self-confidence into components and thinking about your abilities in various specific situations. This is particularly important for people with low self-confidence, which can often become a self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, in cognitive behavioral therapy, the client who complains of low self-confidence is invited to explore some areas in life where they actually do well. This exercise can help individuals think about their particular competencies in various situations that they feel good about and move away from self-defeating thinking patterns.

Self-efficacy is a key ingredient of self-regulation

Self-regulation refers to the way we guide our behaviors, thoughts, and emotions in the pursuit of our goals, desired outcomes, and values. It involves using our past experiences and knowledge about our skills as reference points to develop expectancies about future events and states. Consider self-regulation as a circular process where complex networks, factors, and predictions interact with each other and unfold over time.

Being a good self-regulator is an acquirable skill that includes learning how to generate better self-efficacy beliefs, setting and pursuing effective goals, incorporating feedback, and having adaptive self-evaluations of performance. Self-regulatory skills (as well as the belief that one is a good self-regulator) is fundamental for psychological well-being because they can usher a sense of agency over one’s life.

THE BASICS

Self-efficacy is not wishful thinking or a fake-it-till-you-make-it attitude

Self-efficacy is best viewed in terms of having confidence in your ability to apply your skills in particular situations. It is a much more nuanced concept than a blind belief of “I believe I can do it, and therefore I will succeed.” Notably, it entails having a clear understanding of your skills. Skills and beliefs about skills usually go hand-in-hand. This is why overconfidence without actual preparation (or lack of skills) can set people up for failure.

Self-efficacy can help in challenging and uncertain times

A powerful source of self-efficacy is actual performance—things you’ve done well in life. Often, when people encounter what appears to be a new problem, they see it as being entirely different from what they have experienced before. That’s rarely the case. Any challenge, if you live long enough, will have some similarity to other challenges you’ve faced and overcome before. If you stop and think about the ways in which a current challenge is similar to other challenges you successfully dealt with in the past, you can draw upon your experience and boost your sense of self-efficacy for managing this “unprecedented” circumstance. It can also attenuate the fear of uncertainty and of encountering something you have never encountered before.

Even the pandemic had elements that were not entirely new to us. Everyone, for example, has had times in their life when they felt isolated—perhaps they were separated from loved ones or felt alone in a foreign place. When we break things down to their components, most things can be considered a matter of degree of variance, as opposed to being a whole different kind of experience. This insight can help us deal with our circumstances more effectively, however uncertain and ambiguous they may appear.

Self-efficacy is important for resiliency

Resilience is often defined as the ability to bounce back from adversity and recover our equilibrium when we’ve been caught off balance. Resilience comes into play when we encounter barriers in our pursuit of desired goals. Research suggests that when facing a challenge, low-efficacy individuals might self-reflect in negative ways (“I knew I couldn’t do this…”) or disengage, while high-efficacy individuals will have more confidence in their abilities to find solutions to their problems, and thus be more resilient. A growth mindset (as opposed to a fixed mindset) promotes resilience and an acquirable view of skills, thus providing a better foundation for developing self-efficacy beliefs.

Experience fosters self-efficacy

What helps most in gaining self-efficacy is experience—trying something new and working at it, usually by breaking down goals and skills into manageable pieces and practicing them separately, again and again. When we think of a big goal simply as a series of small goals one after the other, it can give us the courage to dive in. Over time, as people acquire a sense of mastery over various skills, they will also accumulate self-efficacy beliefs. Once you realize the principle of these learnable self-regulatory skills, you can apply them to different situations.

Believe in yourself, but let your actions speak for you

It’s difficult to accomplish great things without believing in oneself. However, watch out for people who are constantly telling others how good they are at things. I would argue that a person who truly believes they are good at something is not going to feel the need to broadcast it. They will let their actions speak for them. In fact, someone who is constantly boasting about their greatness is probably trying to give themselves a pep talk, because their self-efficacy is not high after all.

Advice from a self-efficacy researcher for leading a happier life

For me, it goes back to trying not to think of ourselves in global, all-or-nothing terms or even fixed personality traits and aptitudes (“I’m not good at math—that’s just the way I am.”) Instead, it could be more helpful to see ourselves as complex individuals, with different skills and abilities that are not fixed and pre-determined, but rather are subject to change and growth.

Success, whichever way you define it, includes becoming better self-regulators by continuously honing our skills and engaging them in the right way. If people pay attention to the anatomy of their successes, they will likely realize that the skills they use to accomplish their goals can be generalized to accomplishing other goals. This is how self-efficacy beliefs are formed and a growth mindset is established.

What is body image?

What is body image?

Medical News Today

Body image refers to how an individual sees their own body and how attractive they feel themselves to be.

Many people have concerns about their body image. These concerns often focus on weight, skin, hair, or the shape or size of a certain body part.

However, body image does not only stem from what we see in the mirror. According to the National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA), a range of beliefs, experiences, and generalizations also contribute.

Throughout history, people have given importance to the beauty of the human body. Society, media, social media, and popular culture often shape these views, and this can affect how a person sees their own body.

However, popular standards are not always helpful.

Constant bombardment by media images can cause people to feel uncomfortable about their body, leading to distress and ill health. It can also affect work, social life, and other aspects of life.

This article will look at positive and negative body image and provide some tips on how to improve body image.

What does body image mean?

Body image refers to a person’s emotional attitudes, beliefs, and perceptions of their own body. Experts describeTrusted Source it as a complex emotional experience.

Body image relates to:

  • what a person believes about their appearance

  • how they feel about their body, height, weight, and shape

  • how they sense and control their body as they move

A person’s body image will range from positive, or satisfaction with their body, to negative, or dissatisfaction with their body.

A negative body image can contribute to body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), eating disorders, and other conditions.

What is a positive body image?

When a person has a positive body image, they understand that their sense of self-worth does not depend on their appearance.

Having a positive body image includes:

  • accepting and appreciating the whole of one’s body, including how it looks and what it can do

  • having a broad concept of beauty

  • having a body image that is stable

  • having inner positivity

The body positive movement aims to help people manage the pressure that media messages impose on their body image. According to The Body Positive organization, “Beauty is not a single image, but the active embodiment and celebration of the self.”

Some have asked whether accepting a larger body may deter people from taking action to be healthy. However, body positivity is not just about the size or appearance of the body. Confidence and control are also key factors.

ResearchTrusted Source suggests that focusing on building self-confidence and a positive body image may help reduce obesity and achieve wider health goals.

What is a negative body image?

A person with a negative body image feels dissatisfied with their body and their appearance.

The person may:

  • compare themselves with others and feel inadequate when doing so

  • feel ashamed or embarrassed

  • lack confidence

  • feel uncomfortable or awkward in their body

  • see parts of their body, such as their nose, in a distorted way

In some cases, having a negative body image can lead to the development of mental health issues, such as depression.

A person may also pursue unnecessary surgery, unsafe weight loss habits — such as crash dieting — or an inappropriate use of hormones to build muscles. There is a strong link between eating disorders and negative body image, according to the NEDA.

Some people develop BDD. A person with BDD sees a part or all of their body in a negative way. They may ask for cosmetic surgery to “correct” their nose size, for example, when to everyone else, it appears normal.

Where does a negative body image come from?

A body image does not develop in isolation. Culture, family, and friends all convey positive and negative messages about the body.

The media, peers, and family members can all influence a person’s body image. They can encourage people, even from a young age, to believe that there is an ideal body. The image is often an unnatural one.

The fashion industry also sets an unhealthy example when they employ underweight models to display their products.

Discrimination based on race, size, ability, gender orientation, and age also plays a role. Exposure to daily microaggressions at work and in society can cause people to feel that they do not measure up or that they are somehow lacking.

Illness and accidents can also have an impact. Skin conditions, a mastectomy for breast cancer, or a limb amputation can cause people to rethink how they appear to themselves and to others.

All of these factors can impact a person’s mental and physical well-being.

Studies have suggested that females who have greater resilience — linked to family support, gender role satisfaction, coping strategies, fitness, and well-being — are more likely to have a positive body image. This suggests that emotional insecurity may also contribute to a negative body image.

Body disparaging conversations include “fat talk,” which refers to when people talk about how “fat” they look or feel. These conversations can lead to further negative feelings, low mood, or negative eating patterns.

Body image and gender

Although some people may believe that body dissatisfaction is more common among females, one review reports that female and male adolescents experience similar degrees of body dissatisfaction.

Overall, body dissatisfaction appears to persist throughout a person’s life, according to one review. That said, a study mentioned in the review found that older females were more likely to be satisfied with their bodies than younger females.

Researchers have found many similarities between a negative body image in females and males. However, males seem to be less likelyTrusted Source to talk about it or seek help.

Considerations for LGBTQIA+ communities

LGBTQIA+ communities face additional stressors when it comes to body image. Discrimination and bullying, discordance between a person’s body and their gender, and confusing images of the ideal body can all contribute.

These pressures can increase the risk of eating disorders, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

In one study, over half of the participants who were gay, bisexual, or lesbian felt anxious or depressed about their bodies, compared with around one-third of the heterosexual respondents. Furthermore, 33% had considered suicide due to body image issues, compared with 11% of the heterosexual people surveyed.

Trans people often face additional challenges. That said, a person’s body image can become more positive over time as they make and follow up on choices about transition, such as opting for medical or surgical intervention. However, this course of action is by no means necessary for a person to develop a more positive body image.

Tips for improving body image

Here are some tips that may help a person feel more positive about their body:

  • Spend time with people who have a positive outlook.

  • Practice positive self-talk. Say, “My arms are strong” rather than, “My arms are flabby.”

  • Wear comfortable clothes that look good on you.

  • Avoid comparing yourself with other people.

  • Remember that beauty is not just about appearance.

  • Appreciate what your body can do, such as laughing, dancing, and creating.

  • Be actively critical of media messages and images that make you feel as if you should be different.

  • Make a list of 10 things you like about yourself.

  • See yourself as a whole person, not an imperfect body part.

  • Do something nice for your body, such as getting a massage or a haircut.

  • Instead of spending time thinking about your body, start a hobby, become a volunteer, or do something else that makes you feel good about yourself.

  • Aim for a healthful lifestyle, which might include eating a varied and nutritious diet.

Body image and physical activity

Exercise can boost a person’s confidence in their strength and agility and contribute to their mental and physical well-being. It can also reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.

However, people exercise for different reasons.

In 2015, researchers found that people who exercise for functional reasons, such as for fitness, tend to have a more positive body image. Those who exercise to improve their appearance feel less positive about their bodies.

The study authors suggest that exercising for functional purposes rather than to improve appearance may help people foster a more positive body image.

The Power Of Positive Thinking

The Power of Positive Thinking

Our thoughts have a lot of power over how we feel, and ultimately how we act.

Robert Puff Ph.D.

Posted March 26, 2021 | Reviewed by Devon Frye

Have you ever had a really intense dream that felt so real, even after you woke up? For example, I’ve had dreams where someone important to me passes away and it takes several minutes for me to realize that this didn’t actually happen.

Have you ever wondered why that is? Why is it so hard for our thoughts to catch up to our emotions? It’s because our emotions are very powerful. Sometimes the only way we can bring ourselves out of the emotions attached to our dreams is to adjust our thinking. Meaning, we’ll have to tell ourselves it was only a dream, that it didn’t actually happen.

The power our thoughts have over our feelings bleeds into our everyday lives, too. Life is not always consistent. There are times when it’s easy to make life go well for ourselves, while other times it can feel really difficult.

You’ve maybe even found yourself in the same situation at different points in your life and each time you handled it differently. This is because our thoughts have a lot of power over how we feel, and ultimately how we act.

In fact, oftentimes our thoughts shape the way we feel. Our happiness is dependent on the quality of our thoughts. We’re not happy because we’re happy, we’re happy because we interpret the things that happen to us as good. On the flip side, if we interpret the things that happen to us as bad, we tend to feel unhappy. Our thoughts interpret the things that happen in our lives and as a result, they have a strong influence over our happiness.

This is where things can get a little tricky. When reality happens, we think that there is only one way of interpreting it and there is little room for negotiation. It feels black and white to us—X happened and as a result, I feel Y. But, as we move through life and collect experiences, we may find holes in this way of thinking.

In life, there are lots of bumps and things don’t always go the way we envisioned. Sometimes we handle these bumps with grace and we do what we can to find a resolution. Other times, it’s much harder to find a solution because our anger overwhelms our ability to problem-solve. When the latter happens, it’s usually because our thoughts are telling us “this shouldn’t be happening—this wasn’t in the plan!” But when we handle unexpected situations with ease, it’s because our thoughts are in solution mode. The situation may be the same, but our thoughts make us experience it differently.

Let’s look at an example. You wake up with a headache one morning. The average person will most likely try to make their headache go away. They may try drinking water, taking an Advil, or stretching their body. The key here is that this person is searching for a solution rather than fixating on why they’ve found themselves in this situation.

Another person who is more prone to negative thoughts may say “This is so annoying, I wish it would go away! Why did this have to happen to me?”

An even darker and more problematic train of thought may be “I wonder if something is wrong? What if I have a brain tumor and die? I should make a doctor’s appointment immediately to get this looked at. This must be something really serious.” This train of thought is the most dangerous because it jumps to the worst possible conclusion versus looking at the situation with objectivity.

If you’re someone who relates most with the person in the first example, it can be hard to picture experiencing it any other way. However, each situation is true for the person experiencing it. Ideally, we’d always like to handle it as the person did in the first example, and the first step to achieving that is recognizing that our happiness is dependent on our positive thinking.

I want to take this one step further, and this thinking may be controversial—it doesn’t matter what happens to us; what matters is how we interpret those things. In life, things will go wrong. But we only deem these things as “wrong” because we had expectations for them to go a certain way in the first place.

For example, if we get in our car to drive somewhere, we are hopeful we will get from point A to point B safely. So when our car breaks down, we may feel angry or annoyed. But instead, we could choose to view it as something that happens and we’ll just have to get it fixed. The way we view situations has a lot of power over our reactions to them.

Another minor situation you may experience is getting stuck in traffic. Most drivers in this situation may not be thrilled, but they are still polite to their surrounding drivers. But there are always a few people who are angry and filled with rage, beeping their horns incessantly even though no one can move. We may have even been these people at one point! But, we must remember that they are the exception, not the rule. Those who get upset over the little bumps usually have challenging lives because their thoughts are focused on being upset rather than finding solutions and letting things go.

When big things happen, we tend to think “I have a right to be upset.” And it’s true—terrible things that happen to us will most likely make us upset—but at the same time our thoughts create our reality. If we associate experiencing something upsetting with needing to feel unhappy now, perhaps for longer, then this is going to be our reality. No matter the situation, I can almost guarantee you that someone else has gone through the same thing and they are doing absolutely fine. They may not have liked what they were going through, but they adjusted and are still living a good life.

Let’s look at divorce as an example. There’s a 50 percent chance of getting divorced when you marry someone. This doesn’t mean we should automatically assume we’re going to divorce the person we choose to marry, but we shouldn’t assume that recovering and moving on is impossible if a divorce was to happen. If you and your partner divorce, it’s important to make space to grieve and mourn. But we should also make space for recovery and positive thoughts, too. The most helpful thing we can do is take a step back and ask if our thoughts are helping us move on or keeping us stuck.

Our thoughts create our happiness or unhappiness. When we stop creating expectations around experiences, it may become easier to feel more positive. You know the saying “bad things happen to good people”? We cannot assume that bad things won’t happen to us, but it’s helpful to remind ourselves that we have control over our response to those bad things.

It’s inevitable that we will experience tough situations, both minor and big, during our lives. It’s essential that we carve out space to feel our feelings and grieve our losses before we consider moving on. But once we do that, it’s important that we do move on and adjust our lives to live in our new reality. This is how people overcome adversity and ultimately live a beautiful life. Those who are able to do this understand the deep power that thoughts have over our emotions. And once we can control our thoughts, we are capable of overcoming anything.

How Embracing Grief Can Help Us Heal and Grow

A Personal Perspective: Changing our perception of grief can help us through it.

Kerry Tobin M.A.

Posted July 17, 2022 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

KEY POINTS

  • To grieve is an act of love for those that died and for ourselves.

  • Appreciating grief can help us move past it.

  • The death of a loved one can be a time for redefining our relationship to them.

"Grief is itself a medicine." –William Cowper

"Grief develops the powers of the mind." –Marcel Proust

The Irish wake is quite the cultural phenomenon. Literature and poems have referenced it for ages. It is the plight of the Irish and one of my earliest memories. I attended the funerals of so many relatives at such an early age. Death was regarded as usual and customary. It is what we did and oh so well. It was weaved into our tapestry as family and part of our cultural story.

We greeted the dead, each other, and were brave and filled with sentimental longing. Stories were told, songs were sung, and sadness embraced. Local bars would fill with loved ones and if it were really a fun time sometimes even a fight broke out. It was extremely exciting for a little girl to witness. I learned to show up with pride and a certain grace.

So, in 2021 in the wake of my father’s death, I thought I was well prepared to also begin to say goodbye to my brother, for he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer four days after burying my father. He passed shortly after my dad and my world went dark. It was deafeningly quiet. There was a piercing silence. It was what struck me the most about this horrible time.

What is this concept we call grief? It is mostly associated with being sad and carrying a burden of loss and pain. It is seldom examined and rarely discussed in any depth by philosophers and in general. It is a frightening reality of life and can be daunting to really confront its complexity. But face it we must if we are to really heal.

Grief struck me as so much more than being sad. It is a stripping and a preparing, it is a revealing and a rendering of who you truly are and who those were that passed. Grief humbles you and calls you to action. It invites you to venture forth and make sense of it all, process and reshape your world and find new habits and ways of being. Loss profoundly awakens you to your own sense of humanity and creates a space that is livelier in the very void in which it leaves. Things become clearer, more vivid.

Grief grounds us and can stop us in our tracks as the familiar is lost and our sense of self missed too. It is in this grounding that we return to ourselves and a reshaping of our world and self begins. It is tragic but so empowering. To be forced to restructure your world and self is immensely challenging and with any challenge comes great reward.

But do we lose? We do in the sense that the person is no longer physically here. But the change is just a shift in perception. My friend remarked when her grandmother had passed, "I have a seat for her at the table." I thought it was a beautiful metaphor, but I learned she had a physical seat saved for her. It was a lovely surprise. What an homage to her and their relationship, a relationship that continued after her death.

It is precisely what we are called to do in grief. To honor the relationship and find ways to keep the connection active and real. How can we do anything else? The memories, love, and bond are still all too present. They are never absent. They only grow stronger. It is in the death of a loved one that who they are becomes more alive. How does the ultimate ending reveal the essence, core, and fundamental aspects of the person? It is known when they are alive but not the focus. That shifts though and in death we hone in on the true nature of who they were. It was in the viewing of images of them, the celebrating of their passions, and the endless discussion of their funny quirks, and ways of being in this world, that my connection to them stayed alive but more than that it deepened.

As a poem I wrote cements the fact that my brother loved music, more precisely King Crimson, jazz, and blues: I knew your love of music right from the start, eyes closed tight to feel it in your heart. Air guitar in hand we ate white castles in the sand.

To grieve is an act of love for those that died and for ourselves. Grief is the last gift we give to the departed but the grace we gain is the lifelong reward they continually give to us.

Feeling Numb, Angry, or Overwhelmed by Roe v. Wade News? Here’s a 10-Step Action Plan To Take Care of Yourself

Feeling Numb, Angry, or Overwhelmed by Roe v. Wade News? Here’s a 10-Step Action Plan To Take Care of Yourself

Erica Sloan

Updated June 24, 2022

For many, the news of the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade has whipped up a whirlwind of emotions, and understandably so. In addition to compromising abortion access, the destruction of Roe creates legal precedent for regulating the bodies of people with vaginas, which experts suspect may lead to trickle-down effects, like limits on contraceptive access and criminalization of miscarriage. With these major shifts now within the realm of possibility, it's only natural to feel anxious, worried, overwhelmed, or all of the above. But just because the erasure of a protective law is outside your control doesn’t mean the way you react to it is, too. In fact, there are tangible steps you can take to manage stress about the Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization decision right now.

First, it’s important to validate for yourself that the overturning of a nearly 50-year precedent protecting the right to abortion can be a traumatic event, point blank. “This decision is causing trauma for many, many people because it reflects a taking away of rights and a loss of rights,” says trauma therapist Shannon Moroney, author of Heal for Real. And inherent to that loss is a lot of uncertainty and unknowing about the future—not unlike the experience we’ve just gone through with the pandemic, says trauma-informed therapist Gina Moffa, LCSW: “It’s that sense of losing everything that feels safe or reliable and having no place to fall back on.”

“This decision is causing trauma for many, many people because it reflects a taking away of rights and a loss of rights.” —Shannon Moroney, trauma therapist

For others, the Roe v. Wade decision may resurrect past traumas relating to bodily autonomy, pregnancy, motherhood, or a desire for any of the above. “People may not be aware that there’s a re-traumatization happening now,” says Moffa. “What’s coming up could remind someone of when they were assaulted, or when they watched somebody lose their rights, or when they previously had an abortion or wanted one but couldn’t get one.” And in any of these cases, processing that preexisting trauma may be key to confronting the present situation.

Whatever shape your response takes, learning to manage stress about the Roe v. Wade decision starts with identifying the particular feelings you’re having, and engaging in practices that restore your control over them. Below, trauma-informed therapists and wellness practitioners share 10 specific strategies you can use to do just that.

How to manage stress about the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade

1. Figure out what, exactly, you’re feeling

It's key to take a beat to see what’s coming up for you. “The questions you want to ask yourself are, ‘How am I reacting right now?’ and ‘Why am I reacting this way?’” says Moroney.

Answering those questions may require some uninterrupted time and attention—so, if you're struggling to make out anything beyond generalized overwhelm, it's worth asking your manager if you can take the day off. (You don’t need to disclose it as a "mental-health day," though you certainly can if that’s something to which you suspect they’d respond well.) “Once you’ve taken sufficient time to understand where your reaction might be originating, you’ll be more capable of crafting a response that sits well with you,” says Moroney.

2. Target and address the feeling in your body

Stress—and, in particular, stress related to fear or uncertainty—comes along with a physical response. “It triggers the body’s fight-or-flight instinct,” says Moffa, “and when your body feels like it’s under attack, it’ll gear up for that.” The result is physical tension, which different people hold in different parts of the body.

To treat this, Moroney suggests trying to locate where your stress-as-tension might be residing—whether that’s in the chest, stomach, shoulders, or somewhere else entirely. “Once you’ve located it, close your eyes and see if you can visualize whatever that emotion is as moving in a spiral,” she says, referencing an exercise she practices with clients who are managing trauma. “Then, identify whether it seems to be moving clockwise or counterclockwise—and once you figure that out, attempt to move it in the opposite direction.” This subtle mind trick can have the effect of dissipating or de-energizing the negative feeling, she says.

3. Use containment

Maybe you feel like you don’t have the time or the energy to address the stress, anxiety, or other feelings that are bubbling up for you in response to the Roe v. Wade decision. Or maybe you feel tired by the mere thought of the feeling itself. In this case, Moffa suggests practicing containment, which is a mindfulness exercise that allows you to “contain” the feeling in a metaphorical box to be dealt with at a later point.

Here’s how it works: “Picture your brain channeling the worries you have about this issue into a container that you create—which could be a vault or a box or a safe,” says Moffa. “Whatever it is, be sure that it has a door or a lid, which you can freely open to add the feelings inside, and then close to keep them safe.” The idea is that you’re setting aside these feelings to be addressed at a time when you’re not preoccupied (say, at 5 p.m. or after work) and not just shoving them away. “The act of creating the container also takes your mind to a place where it’s in control of something—which can be soothing, in and of itself,” adds Moffa.

4. Do the “five fingers, five senses” exercise

Stressful events can sometimes trigger a dissociative state, in which you really feel like you’re not “in” your body, or you’re watching things unfold from afar. If this resonates with you, Moroney suggests trying the “five fingers, five senses” exercise: “Identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste,” says Moroney. “And give it lots of detail—like, 'I’m touching this couch, and I can feel the velvet,' and 'I can also feel the small tufts,' and so on.”

This sensory identification has the immediate effect of dropping you back into the present moment and grounding you in your space. “It automatically slows your heart rate down, while also taking your focus off of the anxious feelings,” says Moffa, “which can make them seem less overwhelming.”

5. Get in motion

“I always tell my clients that stressful emotions are better in motion,” says Moffa. “They’re fear-based things that live in the body, so it’s important that when you’re processing them, you involve the body, too.”

"Stressful emotions are better in motion. They’re fear-based things that live in the body, so it’s important that when you’re processing them, you involve the body, too.” —Gina Moffa, LCSW, trauma-informed therapist

By contrast, stillness or idleness can really let things stew and work to feed the energy that causes stress, says certified Pilates instructor Katie McKenzie, founder of the A La Ligne movement method. She suggests finding “any movement that allows you to move that excess fire,” which could mean something high-energy like boxing or dancing, or something slow-going like a grounding nature walk. Figuring out what works best for you could require some experimentation, but whatever modality you choose, follow it up with ample time to wind down and rest, says McKenzie.

6. Practice self-holding

Compassion can be a helpful balm for stress—but figuring out how to offer it to yourself can also feel awkward or tricky in the moment. That’s why trauma-informed yoga teacher and massage therapist Natalie McGreal suggests taking a physical approach, and letting the mental-emotional side of things follow.

Specifically, she recommends this version of a self-hug: “In a comfortable seat or lying down, cross your arms in front of your chest, placing one hand below the opposite armpit, and using the other to hold the opposite upper arm. Close your eyes if that feels comfortable, and breathe at a pace that feels nourishing, bringing your attention to the embrace of your own arms and hands,” she says. This is a literal way of holding space for yourself that can feel just as mentally soothing. To amplify the effect, couple it with a kind affirmation, such as "In this moment, I am alive and safe," she says.

7. Find a creative outlet for high-octane feelings

When stress manifests as anger or rage, it often requires a certain kind of dedicated outlet. “Anger is an emotion that takes a lot of energy,” says Moroney. “While it’s an essential emotion that can create real change, it’s also important to make sure it comes out safely, without harming anyone.” That might mean engaging in some good old scream therapy (as in, literally screaming into a pillow to release anything pent-up) or doing any sort of heart-pumping cardiovascular activity. As for Moroney’s take? She prefers to channel it into art.

“Go to the dollar store and get a canvas, or find some construction paper and some cheap paints, and paint with reckless abandon,” she says. “Expressive art is all about process, not product, so the golden rule is, ‘don’t think, just feel.’ The most important thing is that you are connected to the emotion, and just letting it present itself on whatever canvas you have.”

8. Make noise and take action

Because feelings of stress related to the overturning of Roe v. Wade are often underscored by a sense of powerlessness or voicelessness, managing that stress may require reclaiming some of your (you guessed it) power or voice, says Moroney. And yes, it is possible to do that, even as an individual. That might mean making a donation to an abortion access fund, joining a protest against the Supreme Court’s pending decision, or volunteering at a local abortion clinic. Even sharing information on social media regarding safe abortion access can help restore your sense of agency—which can go a long way toward bolstering your mental health, says Moroney.

9. Connect openly with people you trust

“We’re hardwired for co-regulation in times of distress,” says McKenzie. And finding someone to lean on, vent to, or get vulnerable with right now could be just the thing you need to regulate your own stressful feelings. “This should be a loved one or someone whom you can trust will really understand what page you’re on because they’re on the same one,” says Moffa.

Once you’ve identified that person or people in your life, it’s helpful to think about what it is that you need from them before you reach out, whether that’s advice or just an ear to listen, says Moffa. In the case of the former, you might say, “Hey, I’m just a puddle on the floor right now, and I really need a pep talk,” she suggests, or in the case of the latter, it might be, “I just really need to vent right now about how I’m feeling.”

And if you don’t know what you need? Be upfront and honest about that, too, she adds. That might just mean saying, “Hey, I don’t really know how I’m feeling or what I need from this conversation, but I wanted to share that this is what’s coming up for me right now.”

10. Seek out a therapist

If your feelings of stress or overwhelm start to mount to the point where they’re interfering with your ability to lead a productive life, it may be time to seek professional assistance. To do so swiftly, your best bet is using a virtual therapy platform, most of which have dozens of therapists at their disposal, increasing your chances that you’ll find one who’s a match for your unique background and experiences.

NASW's Position on Roe v. Wade: Reproductive Rights Are Human Rights

Reproductive Rights Are Human Rights

NASW remains resolute in our commitment to protect reproductive rights and freedoms. NASW affirms all individuals have a right to bodily autonomy, that abortion is health care, and that all individuals have the right to freedom of choice in accessing essential health care services most especially their reproductive health. 

The U.S. Supreme Court on June 24, 2022, revoked Roe v. Wade, and various states are poised to enact laws to restrict access to abortion and reproductive health care. We have created this page as a resource to keep social workers up to date on reproductive rights issues and give them tools they can use to support reproductive rights.

Message from NASW President Angelo McClain and President Mildred "Mit" Joyner after the U.S. Supreme Court decision:

"NASW is not surprised but still outraged by the U.S. Supreme Court decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. This association believes everyone should have the right to make their own decisions when it comes to their reproductive health. We are not going back. NASW will continue to mobilize on a state, federal and court level to do what is necessary to protect reproductive rights."

What Is Self-Care and Why Is It So Important for Your Health?

By Moira LawlerMedically Reviewed by Justin Laube, MD

Reviewed: May 19, 2021

Let’s clear up one common misconception from the get-go: Self-care is not synonymous with self-indulgence or being selfish. Self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can be healthy, you can be well, you can do your job, you can help and care for others, and you can do all the things you need to and want to accomplish in a day.

If you think you’ve been hearing more about self-care now, you’re right. One indicator: According to Google Trends, the number of searches for “self-care” has more than doubled since 2015.

Paula Gill Lopez, PhD, an associate professor and chair of the department of psychological and educational consultation at Fairfield University in Fairfield, Connecticut, says the need for self-care is obvious. “We have an epidemic of anxiety and depression,” she says. “Everybody feels it.”

Self-care is part of the answer to how we can all better cope with daily stressors, explains Kelsey Patel, a Los Angeles–based wellness expert and the author of the forthcoming book Burning Bright: Rituals, Reiki, and Self-Care to Heal Burnout, Anxiety, and Stress. It’s work stress. It’s the stress of trying to keep up with the pace of daily life, which technology has hastened more than ever (just think how many emails come flooding into your inbox each day). “People are feeling lonelier and less able to unwind and slow down, which makes them feel more anxious and overwhelmed by even the simplest tasks,” Patel says.

At Everyday Health, self-care is taking steps to tend to your physical and emotional health needs to the best of your ability. 

Here, we explore the trend, where the definition of self-care comes from, and what it can do for your long-term health.

What Is Self-Care, and Why Is It Critical for Your Well-Being?

Several organizations and researchers take a health-oriented approach when defining self-care. The World Health Organization defines self-care as: “the ability of individuals, families, and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider.”

According to this definition, self-care includes everything related to staying physically healthy — including hygiene, nutrition, and seeking medical care when needed. It’s all the steps an individual can take to manage stressors in his or her life and take care of his or her own health and well-being.

Common Questions & Answers

What are the benefits of practicing self-care?

Self-care is anything you do to take care of yourself so you can stay physically, mentally, and emotionally well. Its benefits are better physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being. Research suggests self-care promotes positive health outcomes, such as fostering resilience, living longer, and becoming better equipped to manage stress.

Can self-care help prevent disease or illness?

What are some examples of self-care?

How do I start a self-care routine?

Some researchers have adopted a similarly clinical approach. A 2010 study published in JBI Library of Systematic Reviews defined self-care as "the set of activities in which one engages throughout life on a daily basis,” focusing on promoting health, preventing illness, and managing issues that come up.

A study published in BMC Palliative Care in April 2018 took self-care to mean “the self-initiated behavior that people choose to incorporate to promote good health and general well-being.” The study authors added that it’s about being healthy but also about incorporating coping strategies to deal with work stressors.

In 2019 researchers published a self-care framework in The BMJ to specifically point out that in addition to self-care being the activities individuals do on their own to promote physical and emotional health, it also includes the ways that individuals interact with clinicians and healthcare systems to tend to physical and emotional health. That means self-care includes things like getting a vaccine, scheduling cancer screenings, or taking prescription medications on schedule — but healthcare providers and organizations play a role, too, in how well individuals engage in these self-care practices. In other words: There are a lot of people and factors that bear on any one individual’s ability to engage in self-care.

As self-care has become more mainstream, the definitions have started to become more applicable to the general public and tend to focus on tuning in to one’s needs and meeting those needs. “Self-care is anything that you do for yourself that feels nourishing,” says Marni Amsellem, PhD, a licensed psychologist based in Trumbull, Connecticut.

“That can be something that’s relaxing or calming, or it can be something that is intellectual or spiritual or physical or practical or something you need to get done,” she says.

The International Self-Care Foundation also includes health literacy as a pillar of self-care, meaning that any steps you take toward better understanding health information you need to make appropriate decisions about your health and well-being counts as self-care, too.

This is why at Everyday Health, self-care is all the steps you take to tend to your physical and emotional health in the ways you are best able to do so.

Self-care requires checking in with yourself and asking yourself how you’re doing and what your body’s asking for. Some people use it to deal with difficult news stories, others just to maintain their happiness day to day. Self-care does not mean the same thing for everyone. Different people will adopt different self-care practices, and even your own definition might change over time. “What is self-care for one person will likely differ from someone else, and what’s self-care for you one day might not feel like self-care another day,” Dr. Amsellem says.

Engaging in self-care regularly could help you put your best foot forward. “When we are regularly taking care of ourselves, we are better able to react to the things that go on in our lives,” Amsellem says. “It’s something we do to maintain positive well-being.”

“When self-care is regularly practiced, the benefits are broad and have even been linked to positive health outcomes such as reduced stress, improved immune system, increased productivity, and higher self-esteem,” says Brighid Courtney, of Boston, a client leader at the wellness technology company Wellable and a faculty member at the Wellness Council of America (WELCOA).

Types of Self-Care

“It could be anything that floats your boat — anything that puts a smile on your face,” Dr. Gill Lopez says. “Anything that makes you feel cared for, even if it's you caring for yourself.”

There are a few different categories of self-care:

  • Emotional self-care, such as self-talk, weekly bubble baths, saying “no” to things that cause unnecessary stress, giving yourself permission to take a pause, or setting up a weekly coffee date with a friend

  • Physical self-care, such as prioritizing sleep, adopting an exercise routine you can stick with, choosing healthy and nourishing foods over highly processed ones

  • Spiritual self-care, such as attending a religious service, spending time in nature, meditating, incorporating regular acts of kindness into your day, or keeping a gratitude journal

Additionally, Gill Lopez puts self-care into two further categories: temporary and enduring.

An example of temporary self-care is going to dinner with a friend. You’ll benefit from the social connection, but it won’t last for very long after you part ways.

Enduring self-care, on the other hand, has more permanent effects. Gill Lopez says an example of this is practicing mindfulness regularly, because it leads to brain changes, she says. According to a study (one of many on this topic) published in Psychiatry Research, eight weeks of mindfulness training led to changes in gray matter concentrations in the brain areas involved with learning and memory processes, emotion regulation, self-referential processing, and perspective taking.

“You reap the benefits of mindfulness whether you're [actively] doing it or not,” Gill Lopez says.

What Counts as Self-Care and What Doesn’t

There’s no way to say exactly what counts as self-care, because everyone’s definition is their own and unique.

The underlining rule is that it's something that brings you more sustained joy in the long run, Courtney says. And though there are plenty of examples of self-care that seem to tread a fine line between a health-enhancing behavior and self-indulgence, self-care doesn’t have to be about padding your calendar with luxurious experiences or activities that cost money (though it certainly can).

Consider a manicure or a massage or any other pampering activity. It might seem indulgent, but if the activity helps you de-stress and carve out time for yourself, it counts as self-care, Amsellem says. If weekly manicures or monthly spa days are beyond your means, there are plenty of other self-care practices you can adopt.

“Self-care does not have to cost anything — it’s just doing things you enjoy. And a lot of the things we enjoy or feel fulfilled from cost nothing,” Amsellem says. “Stepping outside and taking a deep breath, for example, might be the greatest act of self-care.”

Even if you can’t spend lots of time and money, Gill Lopez says you can still practice self-care several times a week by turning things you do every day into self-care practices.

Maybe you try being more mindful of your thoughts on your commute, or maybe you find ways to make daily tasks, like showering, more enjoyable. Pick a soap with a scent that you love and focus on the physical sensations of the shower. Gill Lopez says: What does your shower smell like? What does it sound like? How does the warm water feel on your skin? “For about 10 minutes in the shower, which I have to do anyway, instead of letting my monkey brain run wild, I’m right there,” she says.

Daily chores like making your bed in the morning are also examples of self-care — or can be. “This is where that individuality comes into play, because for some people there is no way making a bed feels like self-care — it may just feel like a chore,” Amsellem says. But if it helps you claim your day and gives you a sense of accomplishment early on, you’ll have that with you even if the rest of the day gets derailed, Amsellem says.

The simple act of making your bed in the morning likely isn’t sufficient to account for all your self-care, she says. You may need to routinely devote time and energy to other self-care practices, she adds. “But if there are some days when you feel out of control, on those days, starting the day off doing what you wanted to do for yourself might be one of the biggest forms of self-care you engage in that day.”

And sometimes when all of our other self-care plans get thrown out of whack (you worked through your yoga class, your friend canceled your coffee date — we’ve all been there), it’s those small practices of self-care that provide just enough calm to help us get through the day and wake up in a better mood tomorrow.

The Effects: How Self-Care Benefits Your Health and Well-Being

Many common self-care practices have been linked to longevity and other positive health outcomes, says Ellen K. Baker, PhD, a psychologist based in Washington, DC. There's a lot of research, for example, showing that things like exercise, yoga, and mindfulness are supportive of mental and physical health, she says.

An article published in January 2020 in JAMA noted that longevity in the 21st century depends on abiding by healthy practices — such as exercising, not smoking, and following a healthy diet — and also embracing a positive lifestyle all around.

Paying attention to your well-being involves asking yourself big questions (such as "What brings me satisfaction?"), and then finding ways to get there, according to that report.

The following self-care practices have been well-researched and linked to a longer life:

  • Exercise People who exercised between two and eight hours per week throughout their lives reduced their risk of dying by 29 to 36 percent, according to a March 2019 study published in JAMA Network Open.

  • Finding Purpose According to the researchers behind a May 2019 study published in JAMA Network Open, having a strong life purpose was associated with decreased mortality rates.

  • Diet Eating a diet filled with five servings of fruits and vegetables per day was associated with a lower risk of mortality, especially from heart-related issues, according to a July 2014 study published in The BMJ.

  • Sleep A study published in September 2017 in the Journal of the American Heart Association found too-little sleep (less than seven hours per night) was linked with higher mortality rates, though too-much sleep wasn’t healthy either.

  • Getting Outside According to a 2019 study published in Lancet Planet Health, spending time in green space is associated with a lower mortality rate.

The clinical evidence documenting the long-term health benefits of specifically taking a self-care approach to health (over other approaches) is less robust, but it is building.

For instance, research shows that people with chronic conditions who were more likely to follow medication regimens, to be knowledgeable about how to take care of their health, and to have the skills to take care of their health (characteristics that are considered part of self-care), indeed, were more likely to score higher when it came to measures of mental and physical functioning.

Gill Lopez has led self-care workshops for students, professionals, and community members at national conferences, in school districts, and on campus at Fairfield University. Most workshops are two to three hours, and she leads about 15 to 20 per year. She says after her workshops, participants report psychological, emotional, spiritual, and professional improvements. They say they’re more in tune with their own emotions and can more easily identify when they’re feeling anxious or unbalanced. This self-awareness helps people perform better in their jobs, enables them to be more mindful, and helps them combat burnout, she explains.

How to Start a Self-Care Routine

To get started with a self-care routine, the experts we spoke with suggest:

  1. Determine which activities bring you joy, replenish your energy, and restore your balance.

  2. Start small by choosing one behavior you’d like to incorporate into your routine in the next week.

  3. Build up to practicing that behavior every day for one week.

  4. Reflect on how you feel.

  5. Add in additional practices when ready.

  6. Get support through sharing practices from loved ones, a coach, a licensed professional (like a therapist or dietitian), or through your healthcare plan, community, or workplace.

Practicing self-care doesn’t need to be a heavy lift right out of the gate. Here are a few ideas to ease you into your self-care journey:

  • Journal.

  • Start each day by paying attention to your breath for five minutes and setting intentions for the day.

  • Eat breakfast.

  • Reflect on what you’re grateful for each night.

  • Put your phone on airplane mode for a half hour each night and release yourself from the flurry of notifications.

  • Call a friend just to say hello.

  • Take up a relaxing hobby.

  • Pick a bedtime and stick to it.

Note, if you read this and feel a sense of demoralization or sadness from challenges mounting or establishing a self-care practice, its best to get help and support. There may be barriers to caring for yourself from past trauma, mental health issues, or family situations that may be making it more challenging to get started. Seek support from trusted counselors and behavioral health providers (like therapists), a trusted primary care doctor, or a close friend. 

The bottom line: Self-care can have a positive effect on your health and outlook, but it requires a commitment or intention to invest in your well-being. “Self-care is a choice that each individual can make to proactively take care of their well-being,” Courtney says. And it tends to be well worth the time and any money you spend. “We need to remove the stigma that being kind to and taking care of ourselves is self-indulgent or selfish,” Courtney says.